Final Day: Amsterdam

Today was a lazy day. We slept in late after our day -two marathon walkabout. Our lovely hotel clerk highly recommended we go to Haarlem, an area she described as a smaller, less crowded version of Amsterdam city, filled with trendy shops and restaurants. We could catch the city bus from across the highway that fronts the hotel and be there in minutes. I could get used to this public transpo thing. Too bad we do it so poorly in America. When we left from our hotel stop I dutifully wrote down the name of our stop so we could easily return to it. “Lijn Bestemming” the sign said.

So we hopped the 300 bus to Haarlem, not sure where to get off. Were there 10 stops in Haarlem or two? We decided going to Haarlem Station would at least give us a landmark to be getting back to when we wanted to return. As I looked at the platforms where we had interim stops, I notice they all say "Lijn Bestemming" at the top of the sign. Well, I guess that phrase in not going to help us find our stop on the way back. The bus driver was kind enough to keep us from getting off too soon. A short walk from the train/bus station took us to a wide plaza surrounded by shops and cafes in the shade of a large cathedral.

It’s a Friday, just after noon and when we first arrived the sun was so strong we opted for a café-side table rather than the open-aired plaza tables. Here I am and as you can see I’ve spent so much time here that I am sprouting bicycle wheels:

The plaza seems crowded for a workday.

…but we soon see the reason. There’s about to be a ton of free entertainment at what we’ve mistakenly taken for a Church. This building really is the Haarlem City Hall and if I’m not mistaken, this old guy has just gotten married to a young hottie and may not survive the honeymoon:

Seriously, we’re about to see the parade of Brides and Grooms:

One after another, after another:

It turns out that in The Netherlands May is the month for brides and Friday is the preferred day for the ceremony because then everyone can party from the wedding day all through the weekend. I join in the festivities by taking a celebratory toke:

After a couple of hours of leisurely lunch, coffees and, of course, the free entertainment, the sky darkens and widely scattered sprinkles of rain fall. The plaza instantly clears. It doesn’t look that bad nor does it appear it will get worse so we continue our strolling until the wind just becomes unbearable. This is me freezing in an alley in Haarlem:

So we duck into a souvenir shop to avoid a sudden downpour and the nasty wind. It’s a nice shop and I find a gift or two for Bonnie to replace the one I lost yesterday. As the rain lessens, we decide to make a dash for the train station and return to the hotel. I am slowed down by my new shoes:

We make it across the windy plaza only to be drawn into a café by the smell of coffee. Again fortified and with the rain on hiatus for sure, we strike for the station to catch a bus back to the hotel and maybe a soak in the huge bathtub in the room. On the bus we make friends with the driver and tell her the hotel that is our destination and she says to listen for the announcement that we are at the stop for Overbosch, which is pronounced “over boosh” and, as the man in the seat behind us explains to the obvious Americans, really means OVER BUSH. We laugh because he is funny and we like Obama as much as the rest of the world. Seriously, the ‘Bama could have a good chance at world domination if he doesn’t screw it up. Here are some sights from the ride back.

Tell me a story about what these signs mean if you care to leave comments at the end:

Bicycles & motorbikes have their own roadway in many parts. This one runs next to a canal fronted by house boats:

Check out the eco roof on this housing complex. Honey, I’m going out to mow the roof:

This hotel looks nice but it might be just for the birds:

Look! A real windmill:

Is this bus stop futuristic or retro?

These stairs go nowhere. There is nothing at the top except two words that are very apropos if you happen to make the journey to the top of them (Yes Antonio. There are illiterates here too):

The bus ride has given us a second wind and the sun is shining so instead of going straight to the hotel, we detour down the path to the lake behind the hotel. It’s filled with very cool playground equipment for kids of all ages. The first we came upon were what I’ve dubbed the EuroSwings:

Someone’s dog played tug-of-war with one of the seats:

There was a really cool jungle gym and I’m sure we don’t have these in America because someone’s kid would get a rope burn or there would be a possible danger of getting caught in one of the ropes and the manufacturer and park where it was located would get sued.

There were ducks on the grass and in water (mostly in the water). The lone land duck got so annoyed by me and my camera that he quickly ran for the water.

This happy dog is also making for the water. Not interested in chasing ducks, but a nice swim will do.

The dog had clearly been in the water already but went no further now and was making steady eye contact with its owner as it waded its way up the beach.

At some point the owner started throwing things in the water and the dog was exuberant in chasing them down. I never saw so much as a candy wrapper on the ground so I guess whatever was being tossed was brought from home.

It’s a beautiful lake (Haarlemmermeerse Bos):

In addition to the lovely playing equipment and a roped off swimming area and diving platforms scattered about, it is surrounded by horse, bike and walking paths:

And of course my old nemesis lives here too. Moles. Big moles:

P.S. Lijn Bestemming means "final destination" and the words that appear on the LCD below that phrase is the name of the last stop that the next arriving bus will go to.

Day 2

Day two found us back in Downtown Amsterdam doing the big touristy things. We're doing this on public transportation so we start with the hotel shuttle to the airport where we can catch a train to Amsterdam Central Station. We had done this the day before so we felt we had the public tanspo thing down pretty good.

Our first stop was lunch at a cafe across from the train station. We'd had a marvelous fried eggs sandwich at the hotel on day one while we were waiting for our room to be readied since our plane dumped us off long before official check in time. We were told the sandwich is a staple on cafe menus citywide and it's a damn good sandwich. It's three eggs fried with various add-ons. Today the one I had was eggs ham and cheese. I had it with a Diet Coke, but that's not what they call it here:

After we were fed our first stop was the Anne Frank house. It's a very moving place with snippets of her words throughout and recorded memories of some of the people involved in the story. Yes, it brought a tear to my eyes. It is a very somber place documenting a horrific time in the history of mankind.

After that we found the neatest shop that had the coolest souvenirs. I picked out something individual and appropriate for each of my nearest and dearest co-workers and my best friend.

In walking the streets and canals that lead to our next stop we come upon a papa & mama duck in the process of building a new home. Papa madly cruises the canal checking every bit of flotsam and jetsam for suitable nest material. He brings them back to mama duck for her approval or rejection. He did this several times over while we watched. The candy wrapper in the foreground was rejected on one trip but this time he's brought a twig that will meet with her approval and be tucked firmly into the nest she's constructing.

The grin below belongs to a woman who just spent an entire 30 minutes inspecting Van Gogh's The Starry Night. She's a very happy camper and also managed to find two more of his night timed paintings to drool over. The entire museum is a joy to anyone who loves the artist and with the special Colors of the Night exhibit the Amsterdam leg of the vacation found its high point.

On the way to our next destination, the flower market, the following items were caught in passing. An artist who uses wood to replicate objects not normally made of wood:

And a bicycle that doesn't get take out much after dark. At least not through unfamiliar streets:

At the flower market, they had more than just flowers for sale and I found myself wondering if these would pass customs:

After the long walk to Anne Frank and Van Gogh, the farthest stops from the train station, we are getting hungry again and stop at an Italian restaurant where the missus had eaten when she was here before. I remember her raving about the best spaghetti and meatballs she'd ever had and was anxious to see if you really could find good Italian in Amsterdam. You can, it was, and the Tiramisu for desert was divine:

Our last stop for the night was the Red Light District, where you are not allowed to take pictures of the girls so here is a picture just before we turned down one of the little alleyways where the ladies of the night parade their wares.

We've now been on our feet for 12 hours of walking and are ready to go to bed. We rush through the train station to catch the train back to the airport to catch the last shuttle bus for the night back to our hotel. We get up to the track and the train that we want is sitting there, but all the doors are closed. We approach a train station employee and inquire if this is the train for Schipol and can we still board? He replies in the affirmative. "So how do we get on with the doors closed?", we counter. He smirks and walks over to a little button to the left of the doors and presses it. Duh. What did I say about us having this public transpo thing down? I am tired, my feet hurt and I carelessly leave my bag of carefully selected souvenirs on the train. I guess that's going to be the low point of the trip. I curse my stupidity and try not to let it ruin the day...and succeed. We are laughing by the time the hotel bus finally pulls up. Truth be told the low point could have been worse. I could have lost my purse or passport, been run over by one of the madly careening cars or bicycles, or I could have sat on this fence:

Amsterdam, Day 1

Well, we are here safe and sound. Did not manage to sleep on the plane so we toughed it out by staying awake all day. It is now 7:30 Amsterdam time and we are dragging. Took a canal cruise today: Found the Dutch version of WWJD:

Saw lots of graffiti:

Saw lots of house boats:

But were way too tired for this:

This is what I look like when I've been up for too long with no sleep:

We have been laughing pretty much non-stop since we stepped on the plane. My sides will hurt tomorrow.

Hmmm. Who can I tick off this week?

How about my peeps. My gay peeps. I can’t help it. I just have to weigh in on this Miss California-is-a-raging-homophobe thing.

My guilty secret: I happen to agree with her. I know, take away my Rainbow VISA card and surgically remove the part of my brain that knows the secret handshake. While you're in there you might as well remove my gaydar. I've said it before: Why do we want to join a club that doesn't want us as members? Why don't we make our own club? Instead of fighting to join in an existing organization to grant us the rights that are granted to it, we should be fighting to make our own organization that grants us the same privileges. Do you see me trying to force my way into the NAACP? No, I'm not black. There are many organizations in this country that I don't qualify to belong to; marriage is just one of them. I don't attend a church; I have my own form of worship and a non-discriminatory God. Why should I inflict myself on people that have a problem with me?

I made these same statements when Dr. Laura got all her flack for calling gays a biological error. I agreed with her statement (still do). If the purpose of an organism is to procreate, then I am a biological dead end; an anomaly in the great biological scheme of things. It doesn't mean I'm bad, it just means I am different.

It's not going to be easy to get what we need to get some semblance of balance and equality. No fight like this ever will be, but it's worth the effort. Let's just channel the effort in the right direction.

Did someone say vacation?

We are getting ready to go on vacation. Yes, I said we as in the two of us. It's something we rarely do. We both vacation, but rarely go together. I've spent most of my vacation time the past year winging out to Oregon to deal with Dad's health. The missus likes Vegas (and so do I) but I really don't have the money to spend any time playing roulette unless I manage to make it out to some dive in the Fremont area where roulette is cheap and the hookers are cheaper. And the way the missus travels for a living makes staying at home the ideal vacation for her.

We're going to Europe. The missus has racked up enough airline miles to get us there for ticket taxes and security fees so the flights cost us under $200. There's enough hotel points to pay for almost every night we stay so all our cash can go to pump up the European economy. Hey, if gas was cheaper, we'd tour America.

Another reason we rarely vacation together is our collection of animals. It's tough to find someone who can take the time to baby our brood almost as well as we do, but my friend Bonnie fits the bill quite nicely and I know they are in good hands. I will miss them but I won't worry.

I am taking two full weeks of vacation. I've taken too many trips where I worked until midnight the night before I left and I decided that I'm 50 dammit. I don't have to do that anymore. I'm going to get ready for this trip with time on my hands and I'm not going back to work the day after I return. I'll have four days to recover from jet lag before I have to drag my ass back to work. I only have enough hours accrued to get paid for one week being as the rest of it went to Oregon several times but I can swing it now that I've broken free of my mountain of credit card debt. I have learned my lesson. If I can't pay cash for it, I don't get it. There's been lots of overtime at work with all the growth so I've built up a nice little stash for this trip. Note to self: Send Mother's Day card to mom before you leave.

Amsterdam & Paris look out! Juli's coming to town.

Garmin GPS updates

...or how I crashed my honey's Garmin in one painful download.

We wanted to take advantage of Garmin's promise of one free map upgrade with the purchase of a Garmin nuvi. So I created an account on their website and elected to download the update from there. Thus began the 2GB download from hell. It's such an awful download that they install a download manager to restart the download each and every time it quits working in the middle of the download. Even with my DSL connection the download had to be restarted 3 times over the course of 4 days.

Once the file was finally downloaded, the .exe to install the map updates ran for just under two hours. There was a pull down list during the installation that asked what region I wanted to install maps for, none of which completely covered the good ol' US of A. Huh? I picked the one that offered the most coverage and finally it was done. Now comes the magical re-boot the nuvi maneuver. When it comes back up the message on the screen says "No detailed maps found that support routing. The nuvi cannot be used without them." WTF?

I navigate back to their website and search for the above and find that you need to hold your finger on the screen until that message clears. Got it. Did it. New message: "Can't Unlock Maps" Double WTF??? So now I search their website for that phrase and find you need to create a new unlock file for the map you just installed. They have detailed instructions, which I follow to the letter. No dice, same two messages keep appearing every time you power cycle the unit. Ditto after pressing the reset button. Ditto for removing and replacing the battery.

So I submit a support ticket to which I receive this response:

Dear ~insert name here~,
Thank you for contacting Garmin International. I can do my best to help you with this, it seems that the newest update does not ask you to choose the correct region when it should have. We can have the issue resolved by having you contact our software team and walk you through manually installing the correct regions. Unfortunately, due to the issue our software team is experiencing a heavy hold time which is upwards of 60 minutes right now. Usually, you would have to call and talk to the Automotive team before you would be transferred to the Software team for escalation and we are experiencing a 50 minute hold time but if you give me your number and a good time to call you back then I can call you and transfer you to our Software team so you can avoid the initial wait time or you may call us later in the week when the hold time is less. We are open M-F 8am to 7pm central time. I apologize for any frustration this may cause you. Please reply back or call us at 1-800-800-1020 for further assistance.

Aha! So I'm not stupid and I'm not the only one this is happening to. I reply telling them that I've made arrangements to be home after 2:00 pm on Thursday and can they please call me then?

By 3:00 pm they still haven't called so I pick up the phone and dial the toll free number from the email. After one and a half minutes of listening to menu options and pressing buttons I am in the Automotive call queue. Today Automotive is only experiencing a 15 - 20 minute wait. After 22 minutes I am connected with Kent, explain the above and he checks the queue for Software. It's got 20 calls ahead of me and the wait time, according to Kent is approx. 30 minutes. I am transferred to Software's queue where the automated system advises a 30 -35 minute wait. I go to have a smoke.

On the way back from my smoke I grab a Yoplait. We're at 34 minutes into this call and I still have some wait time. Their automated phone system is very professional. There's Muzak on hold. No vocals, just instrumentals of current popular music. Unfortunately it's interrupted every minute or so by a recorded voice thanking me for calling and "...if you have access to the Internet and have questions regarding our product line, dealer or distributor locations, please visit our website at dubya dubya dubya dot garmin dot com. The next available product support specialist will be with you as soon as possible." Can you tell I heard it a few times? Granted, automated phone systems are my specialty so I'm probably paying more attention to it than most callers do.

I'm at 50 minutes of call time when Mike answers the Software queue. Mike speaks English. Kansas English. Why? Because Mike is in Olathe, Kansas in a call center that employs (by his count) 400. Wow. Way bigger than my call center. I can't imagine managing a phone system that large. I don't want to imagine managing a phone system that large. Mike has me run the map .exe because it has to extract prior to run and we both know that's a timely process. While that's running I try to shut down any unneeded programs to free up memory and initiate a remote access session so he can drive. Cool. It's nice being on the end user side of a tech support call. I could get used to this.

The extract is using up all my system resources so getting remote access operational is slow going, especially when my firewall keeps squawking about outbound and inbound attempts on my network's virginity. Finally we have a session going and he begins to click madly away. Copy this, paste that. Delete this, move that. At about 68% extracted the remote assistance session times out and we lose our connection. Mike assures me this is OK and he can talk me through the few steps that remain in the process. But those few steps that remain don't produce the desired result so we open a new remote assistance session.

Check this, double check that. Move this, move that, edit a couple more files and now the install begins as he was expecting it to. Apparently this was caused because I chose the wrong option from the menu of "which map do you want to install?" I unknowingly chose a map that exceeded the storage capacity of the nuvi. With all the new data available, if you don't have enough drive space on the device, it may hold all the map data you install, but there isn't enough processing room left for the device to actually operate. This is a known issue for this particular model. You would think they might tell you that at some point during the install. But then again, they have to keep a call center of 400 busy...

We can avoid this in the future by adding a 2GB SD drive to hold map data. That is until the map data once again exceeds the storage plus extra storage of this device. Total time spent on the phone from dial up to hang up: 108 minutes and 32 seconds. It was good for me; was it good for you Mike?

Pictsweet cares about customers!!!!

Pictsweet has redeemed themselves. I got a very nice letter of apology from Pictsweet regarding my negative experience and a coupon to cover the purchase price of the product. Now the question is, if I go purchase the same product, will I have the same experience? I will write down the codes from the previous purchase to make sure I get a different lot. I will then post the results here. For now, thank you Pictsweet!

P.S. I have heard from the dog food folks, but they requested I call a toll free number with a case number and I've not had the time to do that yet so any delay in resolution is my fault, not theirs.

Rant of the day

iTunes and Google Updater Service.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

I hate iTunes. Yes, I am most appreciative of the gift card I received and have bought my limit. But I'm not a fancy-schmancy iPod house. I'm a generic mp3 player house. OK, not that generic, it's a MuVo, but still, just an mp3 player. Not mp4, not some proprietary effing format. .mp3 and .wm* is what the MuVo plays. And all those stupid iTune purchases are in some hinky format and converting them to .mp3 is an effing nightmare. I'm done with my purchases but some evil person in my household is not so I am forced to convert their music two and three songs at a time since their CD drive is fubar. Last night iTunes made me upgrade to ver. 8x before it would let me burn .cda's to convert to .mp3's. Sheesh. And on top of that unless you are very, very careful it installs a bunch of other Apple crap that I don't want or need.

Google. I ran into the secret Google update whereby upgrading GoogleEarth installs the Google Updater Service. I don't want my effing software checking in with the mother ship every effing time it feels like it. I'm IT dammit. When I want my software updated I'll damn well tell it to update.

Fortunately iTunes will be done with soon, or someone may die a long and painful death and this page (http://googlesystem.blogspot.com/2008/10/invisible-googleupdateexe.html) showed me how to disable effing Google. So there. Yeah, I work with this crap all day long, the last thing I want to do is struggle with technology when I come home at night.

Pictsweet Steam'ables

Update 4/9/2009: Pictsweet has redeemed themselves. I got a very nice letter of apology from Pictsweet regarding my negative experience and a coupon to cover the purchase price of the product. Now the question is, if I go purchase the same product, will I have the same experience? I will write down the codes from the previous purchase to make sure I get a different lot. I will then post the results here. For now, thank you Pictsweet!

It must be my week for product rants. I purchased the product pictured below and was disappointed with the quantity of shrimp contained within the bag. The picture clearly shows six (6) shrimp. You would think that there would be even more shrimp mixed unseen in the product, wouldn't you?. Do you know how many shrimp I found in this product? Three (3). Package says serves two (2). Two what? Two cats on a diet?

How much is that doggie in the window?

Update 4/9/2009: I have heard from the Pedigree folks, but they requested I call a toll free number with a case number and I've not had the time to do that yet so any delay in resolution is my fault, not theirs.

Mine are very expensive. One's got lousy hips and a bum knee. The other has allergies and a weight problem.

We've had success combating the weight problem through the use of PEDIGREE® WEIGHT MAINTENANCE™ dog food. She's slimmed down quite a bit since she's been on it.

So imagine my surprise when I found this in my most recent purchase of the product.

I'm told by someone familiar with food manufacturing that it is not foreign material, merely an unsightly lump of product.

So I went to the manufacturer's website to get an email address to mail this picture to but you can only submit to them electronically via a form, no email contact allowed. Their form was not cooperating with my data entry. It didn't want to wrap the text I was typing and I can't stand not being able to read back through what I've written so I simply directed them to this blog post to see what it was that I found in their product.

The bag was purchased at the Dillon's market in Manhattan, Kansas in early March of '09. The manufacturing codes on the bag are as follows:

BEST BEFORE 02/2010 901DLKKMF 02:55

I like the product, my dog likes the product (that's the important part), and I wouldn't stop using it for finding something like this once but a coupon would be nice.

Patio Pictures...

OK, I got this here picture thing figured out. Put your pictures in first. All of them. Add them in the reverse order you want them to appear in with the last picture you want in the post uploaded first. Then go and slap your text in. Sweet.

So Mom, here's the progression on the patio with the sinking stone pictures thrown in just before some final before & after shots. (Click the pictures to view larger version).

^^Before construction^^

^^During construction^^

^^During construction^^

^^During construction^^

^^During construction^^

^^First sinking of stones^^

^^First sinking of stones^^

^^During the second sinking repair^^

^^After the second repair of the sinking stones^^

^^After (the first after)^^

^^Before construction^^

^^After construction^^

We promptly bought a patio table with an umbrella and chairs. We enjoy very much hanging on the deck. This year I may add some of those citronella tiki torches. The contractor would like to take some pictures of the job to use on their website. He wants to come out with some sod in the next two weeks (sort of an unacknowledged I'm sorry there have been so many problems olive branch) and take pictures after installing the sod. We'll let him. We're pissed but we're not stupid. I'll keep you posted.

Weather or not

Note to Mom...

I obviously did not die in the massive tornado swarm the weather guys were predicting a few days back and their doom 'n' gloom predictions regarding the quantity of snow that might fall upon my little Kansas burg last night have come to naught. Unsure what the weather guys are thinking lately. Is their software failing? Their gut instincts? Are they just looking for ratings? We maybe got 3" out of the early spring snowstorm. Probably just enough to damage all the budding plants in my yard.

So what's up in the Heartland today? Laundry. A movie (Wanted-on DVD) I rented last week along with two others. Of course I did not have time to watch all three movies in the week I was allotted. I never do. You'd think I'd learn by now and only rent two instead of having the third one run into an extra week rental. My learning curve must be flat.

I guess my bitch-of-the-day is going to be about my patio. We had a retaining wall and pavestone patio installed off the dining room deck last May-June. It went where our beautiful Clump River Birch was located prior to it's demise in the ice storm of 2004. At that time we had the stairs that leave the deck re-designed to eliminate the steepness that prevented our Lab with the bad hips from climbing those steps.

It really is a beautiful patio, It overlooks the woods and pond (although those in the know know that our pond is not always a pleasant sight). About two months after it was finished (and the job took a while), stones at the bottom edge of the patio started sinking. The soil here is very sandy and my guess is that a combination of that sandy base, poor compaction, and not installing landscape cloth between the wall and the sandy soil (both failings on the part of the contractor) were to blame for the sinking stones. But if I was a landscape contractor, I wouldn't have had to hire someone so what do I know?

The contractor returned and repaired the patio. It once again looked quite beautiful. But then these past couple of months the same stones started sinking again in the same manner. The contractor returned once again for repairs, this time basing an inch of quickrete before resetting and grouting the pavestone. Again, it looks beautiful and good as new but my gut says that all that's going to happen is the sand is still going to erode from underneath and the quickrete will hold the stones until the void underneath becomes so great that they once again sink into that void.

I had several issues with the contractor when he originally did the work. There were days when he did not show up on time (or show at all) causing the job to drag on for longer than necessary. He installed some perforated drain tile under the patio but his termination of the drain elbowed straight up out of the ground leaving a 4" round pipe that would hold gallons of standing water forever creating a great big mosquito breeding ground located two feet from our outdoor living space.

He'd undid two sections of our very expensive fence in order to bring in equipment for the job and promised to stretch the fence back and terminate it so that it looked just like it did before he started. He replaced the corrugated plastic that roofs the dining room deck. When the job was finally complete, he'd forgotten to fix the fence and the plastic he roofed the deck with stuck out 7" beyond the rain gutter which created 80 tiny waterfalls every time it rained. He also left a lot of pavestone grout smeared into the top of the retaining wall.

I called him about the poorly constructed drain, too long roof, unfinished fence, and sloppy grout work. He scheduled a date to return and take care of these items. He did not return on the date promised and to save being eaten alive by mosquitoes I redid the drain myself. I wasn't going to climb up on the deck roof, have no way of stretching and securing the fence, and no intention of removed the excess grout so all these items were left for him and he did return to take care of the fence and deck roof. He wanted to wait to see if a couple of months would weather the grout off and we agreed to that. Needless to say he never checked back about the grout but by then we needed to contact him regarding round one of the sinking stones.

Upon being informed of the first incident of sinking stones he had the cajones to tell me that he couldn't keep coming out to our house for free. Huh? The only thing he's been called out for was to fix things that either weren't done right in the first place or things that were left unfinished. Since I needed him to come out and fix the damn things, I was unable to drive into town to rip his head off and shit down his neck, marking that task for a future date on my mental calendar. Once he came out and saw how bad it was he apologized profusely and he did fix it. And it did last almost 6 months...

So right now the patio looks stunning but only time will tell if it is truly fixed. I was going to post some pictures but uploading them and getting them where I want them to appear on this page is apparently beyond me right now so I'll try that tomorrow when I'm not so effing tired.

Where have all the protest songs gone?

I was lamenting the lack of protest songs in light of how sucky things are lately. I remember growing up with them all around me in the twilight of the Vietnam era, but never hear any about current events. The music galvanized a generation and I'm sure it could do it again.

Then again, in the personal music player era that may not be possible. We perambulate through our lives to our own personal soundtracks now, no longer reliant upon the radio to tell us what to think, how to feel, basically what to get angry about.

So it was with much joy that I actually heard a protest song on our local college radio, KSDB, The Wildcat 91.9. I knew there was a reason why I liked this radio station so much. In the middle of the heartland they continually surprise me with little nuggets of liberalism. Thank god for college kids.

Of course they rarely tag the songs they play with the artist so I was left wondering who came up with a genuine, dyed-in-the-wool, good old-fashioned protest song. I had a distinctive snippet of lyric that I took the time to google tonight and lo and behold, it's a song by Neil Young. So I give you here, the lyrics to my new anthem:

Let's Impeach the President by Neil Young

Let's impeach the President for lying
And misleading our country into war
Abusing all the power that we gave him
And shipping all our money out the door

Who's the man who hired all the criminals
The White House shadows who hide behind closed doors
They bend the facts to fit with their new stories
Of why we have to send our men to war

Let's impeach the President for spying
On citizens inside their own homes
Breaking every law in the country
By tapping our computers and telephones

What if Al Qaeda blew up the levees
Would New Orleans have been safer that way
Sheltered by our government's protection
Or was someone just not home that day'

Flip - Flop
Flip - Flop
Flip - Flop
Flip - Flop

Let's impeach the president for hijacking
Our religion and using it to get elected
Dividing our country into colors
And still leaving black people neglected

Thank god he's cracking down on steroids
Since he sold his old baseball team
There's lots of people looking at big trouble
But of course our president is clean.

Thank God

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I may have to go out and spend some money on a Neil Young cd just to say thank you to him. Scary, huh?

Follow up on: Smokers Unite

It's now been almost two months that I've avoided purchasing cigarettes in the city of Manhattan, Kansas and aside from the fact that the product is inherently dangerous to one's health, it's been relatively harmless to me.

It was just a matter of shopping at the market in Wamego rather than the market in Manhattan. I know I can't prevent the Federal tax that trickles down to MHK, but no more sales tax trickle down. In fact, it's not just cigarettes I buy in Wamego. If I'm going to the store anyway, why not do as much shopping there as I possibly can? So MHK has lost out on a lot more sales tax revenue than just a carton of cigarettes.

Puff away, baby!

Smokers Unite: Hit Manhattan Where It Hurts

I lunched at Bob's today. As I ate I was eavesdropping on the old men at the table next to me. Of course the topic was the impending smoking ban (...vaguely reminiscent of the Third Reich's policies). One of them pointed out the hypocrisy of banning a product, any product, yet permitting the sale of the banned product. Oh yeah, wouldn't want to pass up all that sales tax money.

So here's how smokers can fight back. Don't buy your cigarettes in Manhattan. Slip over the county line and buy them there---and I mean far enough over the county line that you aren't in one of their sneaky little extended tax districts. Don't let your tax dallars go to a municipality that takes your money but forbids use of the product you purchased.

Also, I am now accepting contributions to the Smoker's Defense Fund. I have a really good civil rights attorney and he grows bored waiting for me to get into trouble again. I don't think he'll be waiting long...

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

...or How do I love my chimney sweep? Let me count the ways.

So the first appointment I had to get the wood stoves inspected and cleaned netted me two guys, three vacuums, a couple of ladders, and a ton of frustration. The stove on the main level has a stovepipe that rises straight up from the top of the stove through the cathedral ceiling and then out the roof. The pipe sections are maybe four feet long nested one atop another...with no wiggle room. Well duh! Wouldn't want smoke to fill the house, right? Unfortunately there also is no cleanout access.

So it's not the best design from a cleaning and inspecting point of view but it does warm the room quite nicely before it exits the roof and doesn't lend itself to nooks and crannies full of creosote buildup. After two hours of trying this and that, the two guys are no closer to being able to get the pipe to separate from the top of the stove thus enabling inspection of the area between the smoke baffle and the wonderful soapstone finish that radiates heat for hours and hours.

I begin an exchange of email with the builder of my house (who also installed the stoves) and the Sweeps agree to find another body to muscle it apart and call me to set a return date. Builder of home tells me how they put it all together to begin with and from his description it's obvious that no one has ever taken it apart since to give it a thorough cleaning and inspection. I dread what may be waiting for us both inside the pipe and the stove.

I madly research new chimneys and wood stoves. I have visions of badly corroded steel chimney sections and a stove top that's one fire away from collapse. None of which come to pass. This Saturday past the three gentlemen arrived promptly at the designated time. That's twice they've been on time and that is such a rarity in Kansas that I can't believe I haven't savored that fact until now.

They brush the pipe a couple of times in place to remove the worst of any buildup and then proceed to separate the stove and pipe, taking the pipe down and completely out of the house for more bushing and inspecting. They'd tried removing the stove top on the first visit but that did not go well and there was difficulty getting back on tight. They removed the top again and replaced all the anchoring bolts that were stripped or damaged from previous servicings. The pipe is good and the stove is the Hummer of all stoves (Hearthstone brand).

They put it all back together, cemented the pipe back to the collar on the stove and handed me a bill. Now mind you, they've made two trips, ended up with a manpower of three and spend a total of six hours on my two stoves (the basement one was a piece of cake). The originally quoted price was x amount of dollars for the first stove and half that for the second. And that's exactly what the bill was for.

God I love Kansas.